No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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