Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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