Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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