I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
