you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
