Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
