Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
They should really pass out barf bags in church
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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