it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I want to fling myself into the sun
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
