we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
