Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
