An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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