Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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