hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
