what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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