hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
