I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
