Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
