we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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