I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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