I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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