Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
