if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
