dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
