So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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