Will you blow on my dice?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
PANTIES FOUND
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