I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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