Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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