I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I enjoy the company of your penis
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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