Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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