FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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