Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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