Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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