walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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