I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
