Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
