hell yes lets make some ravioli
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize