Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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