omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
