Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
