just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
