...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize