I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize