Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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