he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
