is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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