Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
