Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
