he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
