oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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