So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
