We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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