Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
