i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Enjoy the penises
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
