So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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