i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
