I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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