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i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
