It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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