haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
