we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize