I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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