Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
