Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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